The turn of 4 4…

Why is it that when we get older we then want to reflect on life and its meaning looking at the past in retrospect to where you are currently. Maybe it was JayZ the rapper with his 4 4 album due to his growth in life as becoming into himself. Not reaching that level yet thinking in my head that it was over played and over done but was it? As the hours past not taking note of time but taking the time to meditate in silence I saw a spark go off light a glimpse of lightening and life just seemed so simple so suddenly. . .

Have you ever tried putting a puzzle together with a professional camera before putting it in focus? This is how I look at life. Each person has a different puzzle so advice can only be vague according to the method because no one can see the puzzle you are working. Again this is life. But what if depending on how diligent you are between the lens and the patterns you know the answer. You can see the entire picture of the puzzle right before you even before touching one piece. This is what my spark was like.  Can I tell anyone how to reach this point in life? Well I can tell how I reach my point in life and what applies applies. . .

CON’T…

With much appreciation and amaze… I am also serenely in refection of the day of my birth with love.  Thank you all for the love you have showered me with.  So you see I am easily pleased and in return cannot help but to offer more in love.  If you are in pain I am looking for ways to ease your pain, that means emotionally, physically, mentally in any fashion. I will walk thru the street and see life and in everything enjoying every moment.  Some say tragedy would cause a person to love regardless but I think there are possibilities to have a huge heart thru example and my mother is probably the best example to this day of a person who loves completely.  This is where I learned my compassion and she from her parents.  I also have learned through other life’s experience to always love. Love if you are hated, love if you are loved. Love if you are feared, love if you are disrespected, love in all situations with you. Yes with you is where you love but you care in your actions. I care about you and myself so I will cause no harm unless forced to do so in defense. Why and how can someone do this and not be caught in turmoil? Forgiveness only happens through love.  If you punch me in my face do you think I will stand there asking why and I love you? NO! I will kick your ASS LMAO!! …. But I will do it with love lol… I know someone has had they ass beat by a parent and while getting beat you are being told it hurts them more than it hurts you? Parents you know what I mean. It hurts but it may be necessary is the sentiment. Well if in defense yes…. No Im not saying Ive learned to be someone’s donkey but Ive learned to know how detrimental it can be to my soul and physical being to hold on to anger or negative energy of any type even fear.  Let me give an example and I will go back to my late teens early twenties where my asthma seemed uncontrollable. The reason why I say seemed is because my asthma was emotionally induced as well as allergically induced, so if I felt sad or scared I was more likely to have an attack. High school politics and neighborhood politics tested these emotions more than I liked therefore my medication ended up stronger and stronger each month.  (Adrenaline) epinephrine would be the method of clearing the lungs during an asthma attack so if I was angered or attacked while I couldnt breath fear would kick in and an adrenaline rush would have me in fight mode. Fight mode had me on my feat yelling and screaming where just a second before I couldnt move due to lack of oxygen. At the time of the altercation I was pissed and that person in opposition is my enemy but also my angel. I had no medicine and couldve died due to an asthma attack and now I am ready to fight. I am saying love completely knowing that each person in this world has a purpose in our minds good or bad. Appreciate fully your experiences because we are all here to create experiences for one another to push each other closer to our goals however we choose to do so.  Can we help each other without telling anyone what you did for that person? If you say yes then try it. Try to do something for someone that you might have gone out of your way for or special for someone without telling someone else that you had anything to do with it? Can you help your neighbor without reminding that neighbor what you did for them when you now needs something from that person? Or do you talk to that person? Or talk about them?

CON’T…

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My Fiya Starter

I can remember days playing in my room wondering why I didn’t have friends to come home with….  I wanted a clone, a friend, a pal to hang out with… I had no idea that begging my parents for a take home friend would not result in a instant friend but a baby sister- not much thought went into it as a child lol… Also, that they would get home so tiny… SMH. The little fireball baby came into my world and lit it up with excitement… Oh man! I have a potential twin is what I thought; but no! her head is on fire.. no not fire red but carrot red; very warm!! … But look; her vibrancy that hasn’t changed since day 1.  She was so little – all I could do was look at her since I wasn’t trustworthy enough to sit still with her in my lap. I had to wait until she could walk on her own and it was on… LOL!!! As time grew on this little ball of fire… is what I think of her as… My Safiya… My baby sister…  is not mine alone, but to share her beautiful spirit,  bright energy, strength, beauty and intelligence… heart so pure that can be seen radiating outwards.  We had our fun days but then she grew up and went away for college, which added to the greatness already there… This is the day I celebrate and rejoice the birth of this most WONDERFUL WOMAN!! I want to be just like her when I grow up 😉 lol  I am so glad you got bigger LOL!! I’m also VERY PROUD of WHO you have become… A woman who carries herself in grace and poise and very well rounded… The blessing of this beautiful woman to this world is unmatched!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY SIS!!!
I LOVE YOU !!

 

And The Cycle Begins

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How do i know when its a call for help? I have seen and heard women speak ill of their child and at times sitting right there absorbing your contempt ‘ for them. I know there are times when a parent becomes frustrated with their child or where communicating with your child is very challenging but now that child feels inadequate. For those who say their child can’t hear them or i will never say it I’m just venting. When does one think that the children are way more intuitive than adults therefore they feel your anger contempt frustration what ever level you are on? Yes they know how we feel about spoken or not and many times tend to distance more from the parent or being completely submissive just to make you happy and end up living unfulfilled lives. Oh but he’s only 3 or 10 and that’s where the cycle begins. Do you really hate your child? Some do. Some mother’s really hate their children and will say so candidly. Next thing you know her child is missing and on the news. She told you how she felt but the person she spoke to didn’t respond, why? How does anyone know when a parent is just frustrated and venting from a disturbed one? One thing i suggest as parents is to be responsible with the words we utter. No I’m not saying don’t vent. It can be healthy to speak about it for resolve. It should be constructive so your child doesn’t feel rejected and unloved. Yes some children pull through regardless but imagine how much further they may be with more encouragement and less doubt. All of our children can be great. All of our children are great so how do we love our children mothers. Yes mothers. We were given the bosom to rest their head upon for reassurance. We were given the swishy bellies to lay upon and jiggly arms to be held by. The comfort of a mother can never be replaced. Its the understanding and reassurance of a mother. It’s the discipline and respect of a mother that a child holds on to. You are their hero but complaining about them crushes their world. Children learn what they see so yes some habits will be acquired but with patience and love. Who was you glue in your family? How did she love? The big mama so to speak. She was wise strong maybe beautiful but soul just a popping. Who was that in your family? Some kind of Barbie? Yea the big momma idea maybe tew much but be healthy yes but be beautiful and loving from within and the shine the beauty will touch everyone you meet. Try it. The more big mommas we have in this world is less spoiled children running a muck through this world.

Peace~

astarte

~Essence of Inanna~

And The Cycle Begins

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How do i know when its a call for help? I have seen and heard women speak ill of their child and at times sitting right there absorbing your contempt ‘ for them. I know there are times when a parent becomes frustrated with their child or where communicating with your child is very challenging but now that child feels inadequate. For those who say their child can’t hear them or i will never say it I’m just venting. When does one think that the children are way more intuitive than adults therefore they feel your anger contempt frustration what ever level you are on? Yes they know how we feel about spoken or not and many times tend to distance more from the parent or being completely submissive just to make you happy and end up living unfulfilled lives. Oh but he’s only 3 or 10 and that’s where the cycle begins. Do you really hate your child? Some do. Some mother’s really hate their children and will say so candidly. Next thing you know her child is missing and on the news. She told you how she felt but the person she spoke to didn’t respond, why? How does anyone know when a parent is just frustrated and venting from a disturbed one? One thing i suggest as parents is to be responsible with the words we utter. No I’m not saying don’t vent. It can be healthy to speak about it for resolve. It should be constructive so your child doesn’t feel rejected and unloved. Yes some children pull through regardless but imagine how much further they may be with more encouragement and less doubt. All of our children can be great. All of our children are great so how do we love our children mothers. Yes mothers. We were given the bosom to rest their head upon for reassurance. We were given the swishy bellies to lay upon and jiggly arms to be held by. The comfort of a mother can never be replaced. Its the understanding and reassurance of a mother. It’s the discipline and respect of a mother that a child holds on to. You are their hero but complaining about them crushes their world. Children learn what they see so yes some habits will be acquired but with patience and love. Who was you glue in your family? How did she love? The big mama so to speak. She was wise strong maybe beautiful but soul just a popping. Who was that in your family? Some kind of Barbie? Yea the big momma idea maybe tew much but be healthy yes but be beautiful and loving from within and the shine the beauty will touch everyone you meet. Try it. The more big mommas we have in this world is less spoiled children running a muck through this world.

Peace~

astarte

~Essence of Inanna~

Sister to Sister (Part 1)

Hey big sister I love you. You are somewhere in between my mother and best friend.  Throughout the years I have learned to trust you, learn from you, fight you and love you. You are my blood sister from another mother is what we use to say. When one of us is spotted without the other someone always ask where the other is, because we were almost always together. I would call your aunt Aunty and you would call my dad daddy. You were my big sister that I looked up to and looked to for advice.  You was a mad cool chic because you were just as comfortable in the hood as you were in the religious community and was regarded with respect in both places.  You were outgoing and I was reserved. You were sexy and beautiful and I was still a plain little girl. You were knowledgeable in life which offered me wisdom.  I learned to look outside of the door and enjoy the many adventures we created.  There was never a dull moment around you.  You were so full of excitement and joy to be around, but was just as bad as you were good to the point where people knew not to cross you or you would kick their ass; of course many times with me by your side. You also had and still have this soft side for babies. I could remember a time when we were both in elementary school and you came around the corner with a baby on your hip. I asked you whose baby that was and you responded with “this is my baby!!”. I laughed so hard.  I laughed because all I could see was your little self carrying that big ole baby in your belly.  That love grew into an obsession it seemed until one say you finally had your son. We were still teens so yea those were some trying times but either way you were the most proud person on Earth as long as you had your son.  You move away to the south and we were separated for the first time. We still talked on the phone but it was not the same without my sister.  Life got real rough real fast for the both of us and thru it all we lost each other completely. I had no idea how you were doing except that we were still connected thru our blood bond.  I use to always sense if there was something wrong with you, if you were hurting or sick, so I knew one day we would reconnect and we did. We exchanged phone numbers and never lost touch again so much so your children know me as their cool aunt / kinda nerd aunt 😉  (lol). I wonder where I learned how to be like that. LOL. Your oldest daughter is so near and dear to my heart that I revere her as my own blood daughter. She was such a wonderful gift to receive in this world to have a child that mirrors who you are exactly. You raised a strong woman who loves and cares for her children as they are her own skin.  Alone as a single mother you raised five children with two still at home. The only problem is I weep. I weep for you, I weep for your family, I weep for myself and my family as well. I weep for you because of all the service you have given in your life, in your career helping sick patients, caring for your parents as they age, relationships and especially the sacrifice you’ve done for your children all while your health declines.  I weep for myself and family because we should be in a position to lift some strain off of my sisters life if and when it is needed.  So I weep and now what? Now I give you strength. Now, I give you motivation. Now. I give you inspiration, hope and a new beginning. Someone once told me that everyday that I wake breathing in life I have been given another chance to try again. I will do it again but better. 

Sister to Sister

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I LOVE U, SINCERELY
Essence of Inanna
Essence of Inanna

Loving Unapologetically

The way I sway my eyes back and forth across the room making my presence known.

No disrespect for my partner but my expressive essence -must be condoned;

walking by each man as he feels MY presence.

Looks up to my face -where in this time and place

for some reason its freeze -on then falls to his knees

-not knowing why you are all he sees

feeling all the love within me, within we _

My love cant be bottled like the message traveling across the sea

not to be possessive controlling -or damn near overbearing,

-but love and grace

-that must be shared to see the light upon his/her face

Not a flirt but can be confused as such, so I smile and look into his eye

-so I can carefully explain to him why feels so much love inside.

You see my love is so wide

-that it doesn’t belong to me so no you can claim me to say she mine

You see for everyone to thrive -I must shine -and its not with u and me combined

Like relationships, so called love within -the marriage gets you locked in

that blocking love from within -so that only you can be let in,

well sir/mam lemme tell you that is a sin.

In a world starving for attention

-I shouldn’t have to mention -to share your affection

-and not be so selfish

A smile a hug or words of encouragement and now we go together?

When will we grow up Mister –

-or Miss, that should be regular everyday behavior

to be proper strangers -but we are fooled -into being rude

-and hateful -while ignoring your savior

-your god where he bestows his favor

Love your mother brother and neighbor

Love your priest your enemy and stranger

hold a door, give a kind word or let someone know they are in danger

No flowers glitter and gold cuz sometimes love can show up in anger

Well, not really just the appearance of…

Emotion or passion for all is my undying love.

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LOVE U

Essence of Inanna

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Zucchini Noodles

she cooks...he cleans

Zucchini Noodles

I have a new kitchen gadget and I’m not afraid to use it!  It looks pretty dangerous too.  Indeed, right there on the package it says “the blade is very sharp, peel away from your hands.”  So noted!

It the Kuhn Rikon Julienne Peeler, which makes perfect tiny strips of vegetables with just a swipe of your hand.  This photo is two zucchini that I transformed in less than 5 minutes to a big bowl of noodles.  Well, I didn’t actually time the transformation, but it didn’t take long.  It probably took longer than necessary because every few swipes I had to exclaim about how wonderful it was to James.  After a while, he probably was just thinking about guitar strings or cello music and nodding…but he pretended to be excited and that’s what makes a good marriage.

Speaking of a good marriage, these zucchini noodles were great with

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