The Essence of Child Abuse
The love of a child grows deep and strong from the day they arrive into this world. They cry for you, they hug you, they snuggle with you and they love you deeply. At any time and place you as a parent can do no wrong. How long can that continue until they realize they are not receiving the love they expel?
Why does one abuse their children? Why do people feel it is a necessary component for discipline? Can abuse be a good thing? There are so many aspects of abuse that should be explored; the possible said good and bad.
There are a child’s view and an adult view on the topic. As a child there is pain on levels of not feeling loved, feeling hated, not worth living, bad, incompetent, and stupid. Some children become determined and enraged where the amount of hate pushes them to prove the other person wrong and do well despite the obstacles.
I am not going to downplay abuse as some harsh life that a child must endure to become strong adults, but life has a way of doing that already. Many children that are abused are not always rescued because we as outsiders think that child is receiving harsh punishment. That child many times over will choose to go back home to their parents. So why do parents abuse their children? There are an insurmountable amount of reasons for abuse being excusable or not. The parents may have been abused themselves and do not have any other comparative measures to create thought of abuse. Many people think spanking is abuse and many do not. To determine how much corporal punishment should be allowed is very controversial where the amount is basically based on the ethics of the parents. The parent could be experiencing extreme life challenges where the stress is so intense they snap on the children or whoever is closest to them. Then there are the children who may seem to require a bit more effort into disciplining them such as spankings or a tough beating. Lastly there are the mentally ill parents. After all the alleged abuse, why do children cry for their parents?
Parents may feel it is a necessary part of a child’s life to create a very productive and responsible member of society. The child may not listen or obey well. The child may be destructive or argumentative, even disrespectful or unmannered. In efforts of creating a more controlled life or well behaved child that will be accepted in the society the parent feels pressured into spanking then later loose control of themselves and ultimately begin abusing the child.
Who knows, abuse may be a good thing for some. Children deserve a chance to become what their full potential will create. At times the abuse from their parents however harsh it may sound will create an environment harsh enough to crush, break down and make them ask questions that we are so programmed not to ask like why and how. When hard times and abuse is evident in a child’s life they learn to be guarded and not to trust anyone but himself or herself. It creates efficiency in a child that can be developed from difficulty therefore becoming maybe a great leader or doctor.
Unfortunately some children meet their demise, which may be a part of the grand design of life. Do not get me wrong. I am not in agreement with murdering children but I am also against the idea of messing with the natural laws of nature. Sometimes letting a child’s life run its course what ever course intended and things may be for the better. Children were given to particular parents thru the selection only the divine creator will understand. With that said the parent should be best equipped to care for that child regardless of how harsh the care is.
We as adults either sympathize or empathize with the pain children must endure but do not take into account of the path that child is intended for. That child who has gone through struggle can deal with harsh treatment coming from their parents usually as long as the child does not feel abandoned by their parent. The abused children I have seen did not crumble mentally or emotionally from the torture endured by their parents but by abandonment issues. I am sure that some parents go way to far with abuse but that should not be the reason for removal of the child but help for the parent.
Another point that must be made is to know your child. Some children can be beaten and some children can be yelled at and some children can be punished while when you switch those methods to other children then the child will not learn his or her lesson. Of course discipline is not abuse but many that say certain spankings is abuse while some abuse is looked at as spankings or discipline. Honestly it has to do with personal experience and feelings about the subject.
Since this is a touchy subject I have explored the less drastic situations, but it is well understood that burning a child and breaking bones is unacceptable. Even though I do not suggest interfering with the natural path of life like removing a child from the home in most cases, but there is always an exception. For most cases I think a parent can receive help from agencies put in place to create funding for the needs of each family where child care, education or a skill is needed for a new career, health care, or just community support and involvement. If real help is an options, less families would be in fear of reaching out for help thinking their child(ren) will be taken and separated and more families will stay and grow together . I would like to hear your opinions on the topic for this week. Always remember before judging, first see if you can live the life of the accused and do better.
As Always With Lots of Love
The Essence of Inanna