As I anticipate the release of the absolutely groundbreaking book Speak No Evil, the topic of domestic violence is all around. Partly because last month was domestic violence month, but I realized that the name domestic violence doesn’t do this past month any justice or the movement for that matter. The title Domestic Violence closes the eyes and minds of many that may need help, embarrassed to ask for help, or may not think they are worthy of receiving help for being in a domestic situation. I know what some of my friends have been through for years, but I can say I am sure they are not the only ones. Some do not walk around with marks hidden, nor do they ever have visible marks, and because of that it is looked at as petty or they should get over it. People witness the suffering but say stick it out or deal with it because his fist, hand or foot hasn’t violently come in contact with you. As medical professionals, they are required to see if you are safe so they ask. I tried something out when I went to a Dr visit as an experiment. I was asked if I am a victim of domestic violence and I told them not from anything physical. They said ohh and continued the visit. I know in the past my friends would reach out for help and support just to be told that they are the ones that should bend a little more, or stick it out or even try to fix things as if they are the one in control of his behavior. With hearing or even giving such advice they would say that something was wrong with them and have to work on themselves. After being clear in my mind what I will and will not accept if I were in their shoes, therefore should be the same for my friends; I thought it was amazing that it seems nothing is dangerous until physical contact is made.
So domestic abuse cannot become deadly?
How about mental trauma?
What about disruption of the digestive tract?
Or about anxiety or PTSD?
How about Ulcers?
Maybe even about heart problems?
Those are just a few things that could happen. Men like that are cowards, so how about drugging or poisoning the person they are with?
How about hurting or terrorizing the family pets?
What about threatening family members be it physical or their well being?
Do we think he wont?
Why not because he doesn’t lift his fist or his foot?
Domestic Abuse Is a more fitting term for what is endured or even Domestic Trauma.
It allows the inquirer to see that there is danger within the home and he/she needs help.
It allows a better discussion to follow.
It may even explain why he/she is coming to you for depression and/or anxiety pills.
Men and women alike in these conditions should have a more comfortable and trusting setting for this discussion rather than speaking to a stranger (medical professional who has a narrow view of the term).
Domestic Violence vs Domestic Abuse or Trauma
Just a thought.
Essence of Inanna